


to remember.

by romanoffrights



Series: marvel bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Marvel Bingo 2019, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Not A Fix-It, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Open to Interpretation, POV Natasha Romanov, Past Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov - Freeform, but lowkey is at the same time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 02:12:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19075390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanoffrights/pseuds/romanoffrights
Summary: Natasha had been told that, when you're dying, your whole life will flash before your eyes.Nat calls bullshit on that.





	to remember.

**Author's Note:**

> ok tagging was a hot mess.  
> any of these can be read as ships, but in my mind, i only wrote buckynat, natsharon, natcarol, natbula, and natkoye as a ship so i only tagged those.

Natasha had been told that, when you're dying, your whole life will flash before your eyes. 

Nat calls bullshit on that. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When she fell, Natasha had plenty of time time to think. The fall seemed to last forever, and it wasn't and life that flashed before her eyes, it was the people. The ones she knew and loved. The ones she'd lost, the ones who seemed to slip out of her grip. 

The ones who, knowing they'd be back, made the entire fall worth it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When she fell, Nat remembered Tony Stark. The one and only.

She knew that he'd lost a lot. But he had a family now. A precious little girl and a wife. Nat was happy for him, despite finding it a bit hard to be.

She hoped he'd make it through this- whateber this is. She hoped he'd go home to see his family. Maybe bring that kid with him- Peter. She hoped he could be happy.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When she fell, Natasha remembered Steve Rogers. She remembered his smile and his laugh and oh, how she was going to miss that. She was going to miss the idiot and his lack of knowledge on this century. She remembered the time the two of them binge watched the Scream series. 

She wondered if, now that she was gone, the idiot would find himself a date. She wondered if someone else would take Nat's place as matchmaker. Tony, maybe. Or, if they won (they will), Wanda. 

Natasha wondered if there was an afterlife. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Steve got Natasha thinking of Bucky Barnes. Bucky. Yasha.

Bucky, who Nat had watched disapear with her own two eyes.

She had so many memories with Bucky, ones that she never planned to share with anyone else. Ones for the two of them only.

He'd trained her at the Red Room. She danced and he would watch from afar. She would shoot and he would correct her. That was how it was between them, how it would always be.

She missed him, her Yasha.

She hoped that , wherever the hell he was- wherever everyone was-, he was okay. She hoped that he remembered her.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Natasha had fell for two reasons.

1\. So they could win.

2\. To save Clint Barton.

When she fell, she could still see Clint. If she wanted to, she could've watched him. 

She didn't.

Natasha closed her eyes. She thought about Clint, the man above her, who she'd do anything for. Her disaster. 

She thought about Budapest and the time Clint helped her practice archery. She wasn't much good at it, if she were being honest, and Clint knew this. 

He never said anything. He was a good friend like that. 

She hoped they won. She hoped Clint would see Kate again. 

That alone would make the fall worth it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

She remembered Bruce. 

Bruce, he was always so kind, despite his alter ego. And now...now he seemed so happy. Natasha was glad.

Sometimes, Natasha wished things had worked out between her and Banner. Other times, she's glad things didn't.

Bruce deserved better than Natasha. So much better.

Maybe he'd find someone. A nice woman or a nice man. Someone who would make him happy, like she should've. 

He deserved it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When she fell, Thor also came to mind.

That made Nat frown. She hadn't really seen Thor in five years and he hadn't- he wasn't a part of the snapped few.

She knew what had happened hit Thor hard. He'd lost his brother, his best friend, and then half his teammates. Nat knew he blamed himself, but she also knew it wasn't solely his fault. It'd been a team effort.

She hoped he would get better. She knew he wasn't in a good place, and she hoped they would win and he would get better. 

She knew they would win.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When she fell, Natasha remembered Sam Wilson.

She remembered the man who'd let her into his house willingly. The man who was always so loyal and so kind. Well, to most people, she'd thought, remembering Bucky again.

One of Natasha's favorite things was seeing Sam fly. He always made it look to easy, and he was so good at it. 

It made her feel peaceful. She could watch Sam fly for hours, even if he was shooting wildly at people.

She'd miss that.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

She remembered Fury.

She remembered Fury, who despite himself, had always managed to be there for Natasha.

She knew he'd be okay without her. He always had been.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Natasha remembered so many other people. So many people she'd miss.

She remembered the kid. Peter Parker. He was so awkward, Natasha thought it was funny.

She remembered Wanda. Wanda, beautiful Wanda. Natasha knew she'd lost a lot. Natasha hoped she'd be okay.

She remembered Sharon. Sharon, who was always so nice and kind and honestly, badass. 

She remembered Lang. The man who'd made this all possible, who was the one really behind all of this. Natasha hoped he'd see the ones he lost. He deserved it.

She remembered Carol. Really, she'd only met Carol five years ago, but she'd always been... Natasha couldn't describe it. Always so, well, Carol.

She remembered Nebula and Rocket. A smurf and a raccoon. She internally laughed. She'd miss them both, but she would never admit it. 

She remembered T'Challa. T'Challa, who was so well put together. He knew what he was doing. She knew Wakanda was just fine in Okoye's rule, but T'Challa returning wouldn't hurt.

She remembered Okoye and Shuri. She never really got to know Shuri, but she'd been funny when she did talk to her. Okoye...Okoye was a great woman. An amazing leader. She always will be.

She remembered Vision and that Maximoff boy who'd died so long ago. Vision, who died twice. He'd always been strong, anyway. And...Pietro. That kid deserved so much better than what he got. They all did.

She remembered her family, the only ones she'd ever truly love. 

She hoped they were happy.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When Natasha hit the ground, she was smiling.

Those people made the fall worth it. Knowing they'd win, that they'd bring half of them back, made it all worth it. 

And when she woke up with an orange sky above her and a green woman standing over her face, she knew for a fact that, if they haven't already, they'd win. She knew for a fact that everything would be okay.


End file.
